When Fanfic Goes Off the Rails: A Crackfic Written by Us and Mike Schubert

Hello!

In our recent panel at LeakyCon10, we brought up a special guest, Mike Schubert, to write a crackfic with us! Here we will outline the rules of the game, let you know which plot bunnies we picked, and give you a complete list of the plot bunnies we could have picked so you too can play at home!

The game:

1. Each of us will pull one plot point from our magical bag of crack plot bunnies!

2. Everyone will consume Pixy Stix.

3. We will take turns writing one sentence of the crack fic at a time.

4. We can only see the last sentence written.

5. We must address all plot points in 10 minutes or less!

What we picked:

Sequoia: A Potions Accident will Occur.
Kim: Someone will Fight Themself.
Mike: Voldemort will be Defeated Ridiculously.

The order:
Sequoia —-> Kim —-> Mike, and so on

The fic:

Once upon a time Harry Potter was walking down the street. Then another Harry appeared. And so did a fifth Ludo Bagman. When Ludo accidentally spilled a shrinking potion all over Harry!!!
”I’m scared of small things.” Harry one said, stomping everywhere. “I’m scared of large things too, to be fair.” He whimpered.
Harry winked and licked his lips. And ate the tiny Harry, promptly.
SUDDENLY VOLDEMORT ENTERED IN THE FRAY BY APPARATING IN VIOLENTLY, WITH A LOUD CRACK. Everyone else gasped, in unison.
”YOU ARE INTERRUPTING A PRIVATE MOMENT!” Screamed Harry. The person fainted, vomit flying out everywhere.
Enough was enough. Harry was going to put an end to this madness. He HAD to take a stand. Harry grabbed the closest object. It was Draco’s hand. Hand-in-hand, they decided that the time was now. It was upon them and them alone to put a spectacular end to Voldemort’s reign of tyranny. Harry and Ludo took the thing in their hands and stabbed Voldemort through the heart.

THE END.

A full list of plot bunnies in the bag!:

- A long lost relative appears suddenly.
- Someone wears something improbable.
- Someone turns into a magical creature.
- Suddenly one or more characters die.
- A character from an early 2000’s movie appears.
- An ordinary object is given the traits of a human.
- Someone claims to be romantically involved with someone or something insane.
- Someone is deaged or aged for romantic purposes.
- Harry’s parents (or parent) are not who you think!
- A potions accident will occur.
- Someone will fight themself.
- Voldemort will be defeated ridiculously.

If you play, make sure to send your crackfic to us at fanaticalfics@gmail.com